The True Revenge of the Nerds
Do you like Fantasy? How about Science Fiction? Do you like Comic books too? How about horror movies, Monty Python, video games, Doctor Who, cult films, cartoons, or Dungeons and Dragons? Have you argued over whether Kirk or Piccard made the better starship captain? Were you angry when George Lucas changed Star Wars and had Greedo shooting Han first when everybody knows Han Shot First?! If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then congratulations, you may be a nerd. Relax; it's okay to be a nerd. If your immediate reaction to finding out that you might be a nerd was one of shock then you need to read my essay. Most people are nerds about one thing or another and that is what makes being a nerd so endearing. Knowing what a nerd is and how to recognize one will be an important skill throughout your life because if you are not a nerd yourself you surely know a nerd, even if you don't realize it. As all G.I. Joe lovers will attest, Knowing is Half the Battle!
Liking something from the above list does not necessarily mean that you are a nerd and liking something I have not put on the list does not exclude you from being a nerd. You can be a nerd about almost anything. Nerd is a lifestyle bit it is not a lifestyle by choice. Nerds cannot help but be nerds. I am convinced that it is embedded in DNA, no different than eye color, and is set into motion at puberty. Being a nerd is a remnant of the butterfly effect from a misstep of a Neanderthal ancestor. No amount of TARDIS inspired time travel can change nerds into something they are not. It is fate. It is destiny, and Resistance Is Futile!
Now that it has been made clear that being a nerd isn't a bad thing and it isn't a choice, how can you tell if you or someone you know is a nerd? Clue number one would be if you have grasped two or more of my pop-culture references used in the essay thus far. Seriously though, there are several factors that make a person a nerd and distinguish being a nerd from being a geek or a dork. If you know what these factors are then spotting a nerd can be as easy as a beholder spotting Waldo in one of those books. It is necessary to distinguish a nerd from a geek or a dork because these words are often used interchangeably and i find this to be completely unacceptable. Once you know what makes a nerd a nerd you iwll experience the Tribble effect, and nerds will seemingly multiply all around you.
The most effective way to demonstrate what makes a person a nerd is to compare and contrast nerds with geeks and dorks. The first quality that makes nerds what they are is that nerds do not discriminate knowledge seeking. Nerds know a log of things about a lot of topics. This knowledge can range from practical topics such as what a jumper switch in a computer is used for or naming the twelve cranial nerves to frivolous topics such as naming all the Jedi on the Jedi council or knowing how many times Superman died in his storied history. A geek knows a lot, in fact, almost everything about one topic but not nearly as much about others. For instance a geek might love Star Trek to the point of having learned Klingon and knowing which actor played which nameless ensign in what episode, but think that Star Wars is convoluted and ridiculous. A nerd, however, will like both Star Trek and Star Wars and also Battlestar Galactica and Babylon 5, knowing a lot about all of them but having mastered none of them. A dork will also try to be diverse like a nerd but will have less knowledge mastery in all topics. The lack of mastery in and of itself isn't what makes a dork a dork. It is the lack of mastery combines with the unwillingness to admit when they have been proven wrong that makes a dork a mole person in the eyes of nerds.
It isn't just the mastery of the knowledge that makes someone a nerd it is also the way they respond when that knowledge is challenged. Nerds know the first video games Mario appeared in was Donkey Kong and if somebody were to come along and tell those nerds that the first game Mario appeared in was the original Mario Bros. the nerds would know this person was incorrect. However, nerds would know the person was wrong and not say anything or maybe kindly suggest that they believe the correct first appearance is Donkey Kong but that this could be solved with a Google search. This is, of course, unless the person that was wrong was a dork, in which case, anything and everything would be done to make that person embarassed at just how little they actually knew. Geeks faced with this same frustration situation would not only let the other person know how wrong they were but would also raise their voices, become indignant, tell them how dumb they are, and give them even more facts related to the subject. As i stated before, geeks are very passionate about one thing. When you are passionate about something, no matter how trivial it may be, you tend to fight for it as if it were a badge of honor. This particular geek just happened to be passionate about Mario.
Another quality of a nerd is that a nerd's knowledge, while at times may be practical, is not usually marketable. One of the two main factors that separate a nerd and a geek is that a geek can turn what they are a geek about into a merketable skill. When you are the best or know the most about something you are in high demand. This is especially true with people who are considered computer geeks, finance geeks, math geeks, and so on. A nerd's knowledge base and true passions run more on the pop-culture side of things. A nerd may make a living as a mathematician, financial expert, or a computer programmer but you have never heard of a finance nerd or a math nerd. Though, you do hear of Star Wars nerds and comic book nerds. If you are a lucky nerd you can turn a nerd passion into a lucrative career. The creator of the Wookiepedia (a wiki fan site that is all things Star Wars) was hired to be the head of the Star Wars continuity and canon division and is currently doing quite well. A dork is not a good thing to be by any means. A dork not only has few marketable skills and less knowledge that either a geek or a nerd, they also generally lack the motivation or skills to even attempt to be marketable. These are the people i've worked with in fast food who seemed to be delusional about how skilled and how smart they were and whould garantee that within five years they were going to create a revolutionary new video game even though they have never shown any actual ability to program, tell a story, or be an artistic designer short of the bantha dung that spews out of their mouths.
The other main factor and most important characteristic that separates a nerd from a geek or a dork is that nerds have social skills. I know you don't believe me but it is true. Despite how nerds are portrayed in movies like Revenge of the Nerds (they were geeks by the way) nerds not only want and attempt to have friends but they can maintain conversations and even relationships. If you don't believe me try talking to a nerd about something, anything. They may be a little socially awkward or quirky but they will be excited to talk to you, funny, clever, and always have something to say about everything because that is their specialty, knowing a lot about a lot. Geeks, however, may want to talk to you and may want to talk to you and may want to interject some of their specialized wisdom into a conversation or explaining things on a technical level, even when the topic is far from technical. A nerd may talk to you about your favorite food but a geek will explain to you, using techincal jargon, how your taste buds send information to the thalamus, tractus solitaries, and the postcentral gyrus releasing hormones like dopamine thus making your chemical reaction to the food a positive one and imprinting in your hippocampus the idea of your favorite food, pizza in this case. A dorks social skills are severely hampered due to trying too hard to fit in or be cool. Dorks might or might not know the technical reason why you like pizza, they might love or hate pizza, but they will always agree with the majority consensus to fit into a group. Dorks also have the added stigma of not being the most hygienic of the groups (due to general lack of motivation) helping to hamper their social skills even further. Why would anyone want to talk to a smelly nerf-herder anyway? Geeks are more hygienic but may wear mismatch clothes or have unkempt hair. Nerds use their exlectic tastes and motivations to come up with their own wacky style, and wacky has become increasingly acceptable in America.
In case further clarification is necessary the members of They Might Be Giants are nerds, Bill Gates is a geek, and Napoleon Dynamite is a dork. Nerds have seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and can name the characters. Geeks have seen the movie hundreds of times, dress up, and are the re-enactors. Dorks know what the movie is, havn't seen the movie but pretend they have, and used to dress up but don't currently for unspecified reasons. You can be a geek who is nerdy about some things, you can be a nerd who is geeky about some things, but, by nature, dorks cannot be nerds or geeks and if a nerd or a geek becomes a dork there is no turning back.
How do I have the authority to say what a nerd is and what it means to be a nerd? If you haven't guessed, I am one. If i wasn't how would I be able to fill my essay with this myriad of pop-culture references? I am the archetypical nerd. I know a lot about a lot of things, most of my knowledge is frivolous, and I am content with knowing I'm right, not proving I'm right. I can hold a conversation, I have dated, and I'm married. I care about my appearance but my hair is still a little wacky. Do I have geeky tendencies? Yes, don't mess with my Star Wars, don't even try. I cannot call myself a geek, though. I am a nerd through and through. I am okay with that and, by now, you should be too. The next time you or someone you know is called a nerd, or the next time you want to call someone a nerd remember the guidelines for what is to really be a nerd. If a person is using nerd in a negative manner you have my permission to call them a dork. I ask that all nerds realize and accept what they are and form a unified force [***man if this guy only knew about nerdfighters***]... and i'll form the head. [***yeah, or john and hank will :)]
i typed this really fast and i know theres a ton of errors in it but i'm not gonna go through and fix them.
Liking something from the above list does not necessarily mean that you are a nerd and liking something I have not put on the list does not exclude you from being a nerd. You can be a nerd about almost anything. Nerd is a lifestyle bit it is not a lifestyle by choice. Nerds cannot help but be nerds. I am convinced that it is embedded in DNA, no different than eye color, and is set into motion at puberty. Being a nerd is a remnant of the butterfly effect from a misstep of a Neanderthal ancestor. No amount of TARDIS inspired time travel can change nerds into something they are not. It is fate. It is destiny, and Resistance Is Futile!
Now that it has been made clear that being a nerd isn't a bad thing and it isn't a choice, how can you tell if you or someone you know is a nerd? Clue number one would be if you have grasped two or more of my pop-culture references used in the essay thus far. Seriously though, there are several factors that make a person a nerd and distinguish being a nerd from being a geek or a dork. If you know what these factors are then spotting a nerd can be as easy as a beholder spotting Waldo in one of those books. It is necessary to distinguish a nerd from a geek or a dork because these words are often used interchangeably and i find this to be completely unacceptable. Once you know what makes a nerd a nerd you iwll experience the Tribble effect, and nerds will seemingly multiply all around you.
The most effective way to demonstrate what makes a person a nerd is to compare and contrast nerds with geeks and dorks. The first quality that makes nerds what they are is that nerds do not discriminate knowledge seeking. Nerds know a log of things about a lot of topics. This knowledge can range from practical topics such as what a jumper switch in a computer is used for or naming the twelve cranial nerves to frivolous topics such as naming all the Jedi on the Jedi council or knowing how many times Superman died in his storied history. A geek knows a lot, in fact, almost everything about one topic but not nearly as much about others. For instance a geek might love Star Trek to the point of having learned Klingon and knowing which actor played which nameless ensign in what episode, but think that Star Wars is convoluted and ridiculous. A nerd, however, will like both Star Trek and Star Wars and also Battlestar Galactica and Babylon 5, knowing a lot about all of them but having mastered none of them. A dork will also try to be diverse like a nerd but will have less knowledge mastery in all topics. The lack of mastery in and of itself isn't what makes a dork a dork. It is the lack of mastery combines with the unwillingness to admit when they have been proven wrong that makes a dork a mole person in the eyes of nerds.
It isn't just the mastery of the knowledge that makes someone a nerd it is also the way they respond when that knowledge is challenged. Nerds know the first video games Mario appeared in was Donkey Kong and if somebody were to come along and tell those nerds that the first game Mario appeared in was the original Mario Bros. the nerds would know this person was incorrect. However, nerds would know the person was wrong and not say anything or maybe kindly suggest that they believe the correct first appearance is Donkey Kong but that this could be solved with a Google search. This is, of course, unless the person that was wrong was a dork, in which case, anything and everything would be done to make that person embarassed at just how little they actually knew. Geeks faced with this same frustration situation would not only let the other person know how wrong they were but would also raise their voices, become indignant, tell them how dumb they are, and give them even more facts related to the subject. As i stated before, geeks are very passionate about one thing. When you are passionate about something, no matter how trivial it may be, you tend to fight for it as if it were a badge of honor. This particular geek just happened to be passionate about Mario.
Another quality of a nerd is that a nerd's knowledge, while at times may be practical, is not usually marketable. One of the two main factors that separate a nerd and a geek is that a geek can turn what they are a geek about into a merketable skill. When you are the best or know the most about something you are in high demand. This is especially true with people who are considered computer geeks, finance geeks, math geeks, and so on. A nerd's knowledge base and true passions run more on the pop-culture side of things. A nerd may make a living as a mathematician, financial expert, or a computer programmer but you have never heard of a finance nerd or a math nerd. Though, you do hear of Star Wars nerds and comic book nerds. If you are a lucky nerd you can turn a nerd passion into a lucrative career. The creator of the Wookiepedia (a wiki fan site that is all things Star Wars) was hired to be the head of the Star Wars continuity and canon division and is currently doing quite well. A dork is not a good thing to be by any means. A dork not only has few marketable skills and less knowledge that either a geek or a nerd, they also generally lack the motivation or skills to even attempt to be marketable. These are the people i've worked with in fast food who seemed to be delusional about how skilled and how smart they were and whould garantee that within five years they were going to create a revolutionary new video game even though they have never shown any actual ability to program, tell a story, or be an artistic designer short of the bantha dung that spews out of their mouths.
The other main factor and most important characteristic that separates a nerd from a geek or a dork is that nerds have social skills. I know you don't believe me but it is true. Despite how nerds are portrayed in movies like Revenge of the Nerds (they were geeks by the way) nerds not only want and attempt to have friends but they can maintain conversations and even relationships. If you don't believe me try talking to a nerd about something, anything. They may be a little socially awkward or quirky but they will be excited to talk to you, funny, clever, and always have something to say about everything because that is their specialty, knowing a lot about a lot. Geeks, however, may want to talk to you and may want to talk to you and may want to interject some of their specialized wisdom into a conversation or explaining things on a technical level, even when the topic is far from technical. A nerd may talk to you about your favorite food but a geek will explain to you, using techincal jargon, how your taste buds send information to the thalamus, tractus solitaries, and the postcentral gyrus releasing hormones like dopamine thus making your chemical reaction to the food a positive one and imprinting in your hippocampus the idea of your favorite food, pizza in this case. A dorks social skills are severely hampered due to trying too hard to fit in or be cool. Dorks might or might not know the technical reason why you like pizza, they might love or hate pizza, but they will always agree with the majority consensus to fit into a group. Dorks also have the added stigma of not being the most hygienic of the groups (due to general lack of motivation) helping to hamper their social skills even further. Why would anyone want to talk to a smelly nerf-herder anyway? Geeks are more hygienic but may wear mismatch clothes or have unkempt hair. Nerds use their exlectic tastes and motivations to come up with their own wacky style, and wacky has become increasingly acceptable in America.
In case further clarification is necessary the members of They Might Be Giants are nerds, Bill Gates is a geek, and Napoleon Dynamite is a dork. Nerds have seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and can name the characters. Geeks have seen the movie hundreds of times, dress up, and are the re-enactors. Dorks know what the movie is, havn't seen the movie but pretend they have, and used to dress up but don't currently for unspecified reasons. You can be a geek who is nerdy about some things, you can be a nerd who is geeky about some things, but, by nature, dorks cannot be nerds or geeks and if a nerd or a geek becomes a dork there is no turning back.
How do I have the authority to say what a nerd is and what it means to be a nerd? If you haven't guessed, I am one. If i wasn't how would I be able to fill my essay with this myriad of pop-culture references? I am the archetypical nerd. I know a lot about a lot of things, most of my knowledge is frivolous, and I am content with knowing I'm right, not proving I'm right. I can hold a conversation, I have dated, and I'm married. I care about my appearance but my hair is still a little wacky. Do I have geeky tendencies? Yes, don't mess with my Star Wars, don't even try. I cannot call myself a geek, though. I am a nerd through and through. I am okay with that and, by now, you should be too. The next time you or someone you know is called a nerd, or the next time you want to call someone a nerd remember the guidelines for what is to really be a nerd. If a person is using nerd in a negative manner you have my permission to call them a dork. I ask that all nerds realize and accept what they are and form a unified force [***man if this guy only knew about nerdfighters***]... and i'll form the head. [***yeah, or john and hank will :)]
i typed this really fast and i know theres a ton of errors in it but i'm not gonna go through and fix them.
