BEDA 18 i need a cool title to lure people to read this

So this is late i know but whatever. i couldnt think of anything to write so i'm just gonna go for a free pass and just gun it tonight, as much as i hate doing these type of blogs. i've ha a bit to drink and for some reason when i'm at home, or alone, or in a quiet social setting i tend to do a lot of thinking and get all philosophical.

people hurt. people i care about. it sucks and I dont know what I can do about it.

shits about to get real once school starts because I have a job now. i'm about to be under the busiest/most stressful schedule i've had in my entire life and i dont know how its going to work out/how i'm going to handle it. i can literally only wait and see.

next summer is my last summer. i only have two more years of college left so the next summer will be the last time I am working part time (theoretically) and just waiting for school to start again. because after next summer everything is just work from then on until i retire. that's a scary thought. i dont know if i'm ready for that part of my life. i mean i'm 21 and I still dont do lots of things that people my age do to more towards the grown up parts of life. i've had my time here and it IS time to move on, but I've always liked to stay where I know is comfortable rather than take my chances and see where I can go. This is a bad thing. I'd lie and say its good to be safe and comfortable but where will I ever go if i'm too afraid to to branch out? even the first step of being on your own in college i'm not doing "correctly". i'm living at home while going to college that's 10 minutes from my house. I JUST started paying for my own gas in my car since I got my job. my parents still pay my phone bill. i still live a fairly sheltered life. it sucks but I dont know how I can push myself to get out there to where I should be.


something that I HAVE done on a very mature level the past few years is i've done a LOT of finding myself. trying new ways to get motivated and making different attempts to maintain different levels of things within my life. its all very complex and too vague to be put into words but i've done relentless experimenting and put loads of thought into how I compose myself nowadays.

I analyze some of these things TOO much, i suppose. mostly my social aspects. i AM getting better. having a job puts me in the "public" more often than I normally would be and so I am learning that I can function quite well in a new and changing environment; however novice it may be.

I expect this is what everyone is supposed to do in college though. But i quite like it. i know myself better than I ever have before. i'm able to let things of the past GO for once and learn from where I have messed up.

It's like i'm planning out the way things will unfold for the rest of my life with the way I think, sometimes. Like how I put tons of thought in my plans for living on my own. How I will arrange certain things, make sure I always remember to do other things, set aside time for these other things. Its all happening subconsciously and its kind of strange how its unfolding naturally; as if i've opened up a part of my mind with the press of a button that i've just noticed.

so i think that's enough self reflection for tonight

school in 5 days: bring it on (?)
reading: did some. gonna try to squeeze a bit in tonight so i can finish goblet of fire tomorrow (my truly last day off until winter break unless I happen to get a friday, saturday or sunday off work which is probably not gonna happen)
Last song scrobbled: "Lie"- Dream Theater

BEDA 17-A Letter to David Foster Wallace

Dear Mr. David Foster Wallace,
Let me start off by saying that I know for a fact you are not someone who wants to be immortalized or seen as a kind of celebrity. You said that it was unnecessary for personalities such as authors to be considered something "above society" as a celebrity. Your insight on the subject leads me to assume that you would prefer this letter to be less formal and in a setting where it is intended to commemorate you. However, I must inform you, this is in fact my intention of this letter- to express my appreciation for your "existence" within my life. Notwithstanding, I will attempt to keep it based in reality and fantasize as little as possible.

Dear David,
It is with eagerness that I find myself writing to you today. While your writing is still fairly new to me, it has still created a lasting impact on my life. I was introduced to you last year when an online community I am involved in with some friends partly took place in "Infinite Summer", a recent program where a bunch of people get together to read Infinite Jest over a predetermined period of time. I did not wish to partake in this event because I had heard a few things about how monstrously enormous Infinite Jest is. Near the end of that year I was talking with a few of my friends who were nearly/newly finished with the book. I asked a simple question- "What is it about?" I received mixed answers; which now that I look back on it, an intriguing aspect of the novel was that the "plot" is sort of ambiguous.

The thing that kicked me into wanting to read the novel was that I was told it had lots of drug use and people with messed up personal problems. I'm still not sure why I am fascinated with literature that includes these things but that is when/why I decided to read Infinite Jest.
I finally ordered the book and began researching what I was about to get into. I grew more excited to read it over the weeks prior to starting.

I began reading Infinite Jest 21 January 2010-
http://dailybooth.com/PaulSaysThings/2787230

The first night I read through the second chapter. The second chapter of Infinite Jest is some of my most favorite writing ever. In the middle of reading it I almost screamed at how closely the events and emotions applied directly to my personal life. I later found that this feeling of connectedness through your writing is a reoccurring theme. In all of your different writings I always find at least one line that directly applies to something I have experienced.
I did not have to finish Infinite Jest before considering it one of my favorite novels of all time. I also did not have to wait until after I finished it before deciding that I was going to make it a personal goal to read all of your published works.

8 weeks later I finished Infinite Jest-
http://dailybooth.com/PaulSaysThings/3917227

I was so engrossed at the end of the book that I began to read up to 200 pages per day (with writing that tiny, that's quite impressive). When I finally finished the novel I placed it down, triumphantly, and sat there panting like a dog, in a daze, with my mouth hanging open. This continued for about 20 minutes before I regained consciousness.

I continued to my next steps- i ordered more of your books and began searching the internet for stuff about you. I became entranced with interviews, article, and audio about you as I began to read Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. By now the name David Foster Wallace became analogous with me to the extent that I received a birthday card in the shape of you-
http://dailybooth.com/PaulSaysThings/4205159

I can't remember becoming to rabidly infatuated with something/someone so quickly. This is the part where you might think that my praise of you has become too high and I hold you on a pedestal for irrational or unnecessary reasons. I am currently reading through Oblivion and only have Consider the Lobster left to attain and read through.

Let me explain this by saying that your work has empowered me in many respects.

You have first off written things of high intellectual requirement, however they are written in a way that they can still be understood.As you put it- assuming the reader is smarter than you/they think. This has enabled me to give my thoughts higher power and facilitated my mind to be used as a broader variety of tools.

You have explained things that apply to my personal life in ways that I could not fathom, and you have described things that I am/was too afraid to confront; making those skeletons in the closet come out to face me. Through these mechanisms I am able to re-evaluate aspects of my life and have found ways to embrace, let go, or change them.

You have opened my mind to new ways of thinking and unhinged new areas of my mind, through your way of explaining points of view and being very articulate about miniscule details. You have changed the way I perceive things on a vast scale.

For these reasons and for others that I have not yet grasped in a way that they can be explained through words and expressions I wish to explore ways to express my deep gratitude and affection of you, your mind, your perceptions, your faults, your triumphs, and your experiences, put forth for others to see through the act of writing. I wish to know your place of burial so that I could make a pilgrimage to it just to be in the presence of your remains and bask in the wonders of our sheer proximity. It is probably for this reason, among others, that the location of your grave is hidden, and I respect that.

With all of this I simply wish to say:

Thank you. For everything

Yours respectfully,
Paul D. Huber

(btw i went to http://iwl.me and you can enter something your wrote and it will tell you who you write like. i entered this and it said I write like David Foster Wallace. if that isnt the most perfect thing I dont know what is)
_______________________________
6 days till school.
Reading in a bit here and definitely more tonight
Last song Scrobbled: "A Change of Seasons" Dream Theater

BEDA 16- Sexy Thangs

Avy came up with the topic today. I like it. Things that you find sexy/attractive that are not usually considered that way.

First off i'm going to say bookshelves because you knew it was coming. But not just any bookshelf. It has to really look good. I'm talking organized and potentially decorated with things in/on the shelves. (check my tumblr i probably posted some)

Girl's british accents. Sometimes. Not always but occasionally it will sound extra great. Doesnt depend on the girl either, just the voice.

Thick books. Goblet of fire is sitting next to me. lookin hot

Modern architecture. Not all of it, because it will either look attractive or repulsive. I cant really describe which is which but i know it when i see it. (check my tumblr if i have some on there)

Office furniture. And some office supplies if they are created in a very clever way. Comfy desk chairs and geniously designed organizing space makes my brain go "HRRRRRRRRRRWHIHRGRE"

Trashy whores. Just kidding. That goes on the list of things that are considered attractive but I DON'T find them so.

Gonna get these out of the way:

Karen Gillan

Jenna Fischer

Ellen Page

Kiera Knightly

Kate Beckensale

Kat Dennings

Meekakitty

(ok they are usually considered attractive but i'm leaving them here)

How cool Suchducks is

One week until school kill meeeeee

Read a little today but my computer/percocet ADD killed my focus. gonna read now

Last song scrobbled: "Everything is Alright"- Motion City Soundtrack

BEDA 15-Inception (and thoughts)

HALF WAY THROUGH BEDA!

I saw inception last night. An hour into it I thought the film was one of the best. Half way through it I realized its probably my new favorite movie (or at least tied with fight club.) the scene where the van is folling and it's making the sleeping people fight in the hotel in zero gravity was so amazing. i just sat there with my mouth hanging open for like 45 minutes. it was perfectly confusing. just enough for me to understand it but crazy enough to be intriguing and deep. ellen page is hot. leonardo dicaprio didn't douche up the movie AT ALL. the only parts I didnt understand were very minor and parts that I didnt care about. I cried twice during the movie not out of sadness but out of sheer joy and excitement of how fantastic the movie was. on a scale of 1-5 i'd give it 30. on a scale of 1-10 i'd give it 600. inception is like if you woke up from the matrix into the real world and find out that the world you knew was a fake simulation and then you woke up from that and find out that everything you just learned about the matrix was planted in your mind by someone else who thought it up, and then you woke up again. inception has already changed the way I think about a few different things. it unhinged a few areas of my mind.

Since I have no real topic i'm going to keep my inception topic and just talk about some thoughts

Tomorrow is monday and I am off work. Tomorrow is one week until school. I still have to go get my books/parking permit. I do not want this school year to start. Next summer will be my last summer. WOW.

Eevee won my soul today in a game of OMGPOP pool.

Blaze is awesome. She was on blogtv and it was awesome. We are gonna break the world record for longest hug (24 hrs 17 min) Blaze wants to know what happens when we have to pee while hugging. Comment if you have suggestions.

I have taken 30 minutes to write this wow I should have started reading like an hour ago.

This year my school is giving free metro passes to all students so I can take the train down to the loop like every weekend now and go to the record store and chipotle omfg.

Tomorrow i might go get animal farm and farenheit 451 from target because they're really cheap on their "classics" rack. i wont be able to read them for a while because of other reading priorities but then i'll have them and wont have to think about it anymore which is nice.

I think about things like that very strangely. I'll get it in my head- ok, i want to read animal farm. and then i'll plan out when i'm gonna read it (after harry potter and during DFW but only if mockingjay is not out yet) and stuff like that and then i'll find out where i'm going to buy it and then i'm where i'm at now. and I havent bought it. i have no reason to get it just yet because i'm not gonna read it for a while. but it's such a fully articulate thing that I've contemplated that If i just go out and get it so it can sit on my shelf, its one less thing that i'll think about. very strange feeling indeed.

I only have 1 amoxycillin (sp) pill left to take with breakfast tomorrow and then i'm done with that prescription. meaning my healing of my wisdom teeth is pretty much done. one of my stitches came out yesterday. i ate a few hot dogs (with difficulty) and i'm about ready to go back to hot foods. w/r/t my other prescription (which is also running to its end) I found out that i had been calling it oxycodone which is just its chemical name. the pills i have are percocet. this was not necessarily a "good" discovery as the first thing that came to mind was "OH! i know what people do with those (besides take them for pain)" for more info please see the end of this blog.

Reading: read some Goblet of Fire today. no work tomorrow so i'll stay up late reading and then read a lot tomorrow

Last song scrobbled: "Through My Words"- Dream Theater

I have not smoked in 11 days but I did take 2 and a half percocet today but I felt nothing. it changed my blood pressure which made me feel hot but it always does that even if I take 1 like i'm supposed to. dont get all freaked out about it. it takes 3 before i'm in the zone where I need to worry about it and based on my weight and no tolerance built up for opiods i am NOT going to go there so i'm not afraid of any of this. plus i only have a few pills left total and once they are gone i am not doing anything like this again.

BEDA 14- More Harry Potter

i have to write this early today because i'm going to the movies with friends tonight. I got these questions from Sara's VEDA yesterday

Favorite Character: wow I never really thought about this. I think i'm gonna go with Remus Lupin because he's really awesome and knowledgeable and stuff

Favorite Couple: Tonks and Lupin (still would be even if Lupin was not my favorite character

Part that made you cry the most: well I didnt cry at anything but the saddest part was Dumbledore falling from the astronomy tower

Favorite Location: Probably hogsmead.

What would you buy at Diagon Alley with a vault of galleons: a broomstick first off, then a bunch of books, and then random wizard gadget stuff like a sneakoscope etc

Which Deathly Hallow would you pick: invisibility cloak. i have no use for the other two first of all and I would love to sneak around people and hear what they're saying when they dont know i'm there

What would you see in the mirror of erised: I dont really know. Maybe my future self being successful and having a family

Least favorite book: Prisoner of Azkaban for reasons mentioned in my blog a few days ago

Favorite Book: Goblet of Fire

What does amsfmoawigmoerbimthrgoijv (idr how to spell it) the love potion smell like to you: I already did this in a blog but I thought of my other two smells- so the first one is still a bookstore filled with new books, then the smell off good coffee even thought I dont really like coffee, and Sara said in her video the smell after it rains and I just thought "YES!" but only if it's like moderate to cold outside. if it's hot then it just smells gross.

9 Days till school ugh ugh ugh

Reading: who knows if i'll get some done today. i'm going to the movies to a 10:30 showing so probably not

Last song scrobbled: "The Matter of Splatter (cover)" - Job For A Cowboy

BEDA 13- Katy's Boobs

Lots of people want
Me to blog about Katy's
Boobs. So here you go

It's Friday the 13th and I have nothing to blog
I'm sitting by my window and there is no fog
It's getting late and no ideas come to mind
Lets post this blog before I run out of time

Poetry seems to
Be a good way getting
Out of doing things

I'm going to use poetry to blog about Katy's boobs
To make it funny and more appropriate for the noobs
If it were serious I would feel perverse
But Katy's still the coolest in the universe

Seeing as I know
Little about poetry
I will do my best

Haikus and couplets are about all I know
So lets keep going along with this show
I guess I should start with "Katy's boobs are nice"
Too bad I cant rhyme like Vanilla Ice

I'm not one to put
Lots of emphasis on boobs
Cuz there's more than that

Ogling boobs can be seen as disrespect
But for most guys it's their favorite subject
I go more for a girl's personality
But there are not many with this mentality

I'd rather find a
Loveable companion than
Love someone for looks

I don't mind the boobs, but the person they're attached to
Girls seem to appreciate this point of view
This is not to say I don't mind them
Just that it's not first on the list in my brain stem

If I were to tell
You that Katy's boobs are great
Its because she is

Katy is an awesome person that everyone should love
She's amazing on more levels than I can think of
Katy's boobs are lucky to be connected
To a girl who can not be perfected

You see it's not the
Boobs that make Katy awesome.
She does that herself

The way Katy is makes me glad to know her
Everyone else is sure to concur
If Katy's boobs are great then she makes them better
I'd love her even if her boobs were hiding under a sweater

10 days till school. Kill me
Reading: I didn't do any today. i was gonna watch a movie but whiney brother is making me leave the computer so I guess i'm gonna go read.
Last Song Scrobbled: "This is Who We Are"- As I Lay Dying

BEDA 12- Re(re)-evaluating Harry Potter (1-3)

(there will be spoilers in here up until the end of the third HP book in case you are wondering [so valerie you are ok])

I JUST finished reading Prisoner of Azkaban for the third time in my life (the second being last year and the first being when it came out). I'm reading the series through for the third time and then watching each movie as I finish a book. I'm getting a better way to think about the books/movies overall instead of how excited I was when each came out.

The first book theres nothing you can really do to it. It has to set everything up and I have no problems with it at all. The movie is kind of lame but its still got a kid's movie feel to it and I get that. No problems there really.

I've always loved the way the second book is put together and I've reaffirmed that with my third reading of it. Its kind of murder mystery ish and everything fits together so cleverly at the end. The movie is still just another visual cliffnotes version of the book just like the first movie. It's alright but nothing too special.

The third book i've never cared for too much and at least I know why that is now. The whole big scene at the end that we expect to get from reading the first two books doesnt really happen. All the excitement is just a bunch of people in a room talking and then there's some time travel but it's not all that gripping. There are also TONS of quidditch matches in the book and it just kinda drags on with the only real plot line being serious black (obviously). The book really harps on how important the firebolt is when harry keeps going to look at it and finally gets it and uses it etc etc but the movie completely destroyed ALL OF THAT. Which is one of the things I hate most about all the HP movies was the whole firebolt thing was ruined.

The movie does justice. It kinda prances around the storyline instead of following it word for word (in some parts) like the first two films did. It cuts out some of the crap and sums things up nicely in a few scenes. However there are so many random things in the movie that do not need to be there and changes that were made for no reason. Overall though (dont think i'm being blasphemous for saying this) I think the movie for Prisoner of Azkaban is even better than the book. They changed the way some of the time travel/plot unraveling at the end happens and made it way easier to follow. The ending in the movie seems more exciting than the ending in the book as well. The movie did some really cool things that the other films dont have while the book is just kind of a drawn out version of filling in some characters and taking space until the 4th book happens (which is probably my favorite book. going to decide after i'm done with the series again).

I've always loved the 4th book and the film for it is just ok. It could have been better but anyways i'm going to go read it and see what the movie did to ruin the book.


Reading: did tons of it today
Last song scrobbled: "Your Belgian Things" - The Mountain Goats